Some of us can talk about our fathers for days while some can only talk about our fathers briefly.  However, there are some who cannot talk about our fathers at all, either because they were not present during the time we grew up or it’s simply too painful to talk about them.  On the contrary, most of us can talk about our mothers not only a lot more but also more fondly.  They certainly deserve it.

Fathers and mothers affect children in different ways.  In general women are far more relational and expressive, which make them connect with their children, not only more frequently but also more intimately. Conversely, men are usually less expressive and not as relational, which limits the quantity and the quality of interaction with their children.  We can, then, say that one of the differences between mothers and fathers in how they affect their children is that the impact that mothers have on their children is more direct and obvious while the impact that fathers make are less direct and more subtle.  Simply put, it is less visible, albeit it is as important. 

To put it in another way, fathers’ impact on their children is like foundation of a building.  It is not seen but very much needed; without it, the whole building would crack, if not crumble. Children who grow up without fathers are more likely to be engaged in an unhealthy lifestyle and wander through life aimlessly. They are less sure of themselves and tend to be more impulsive in their actions.

God places us fathers to be the bedrock of our children’s souls.  We should neither try to emulate our wives nor feel badly for not being able to be more expressive and relational with our children. God has wired us uniquely so we can parent our children differently. When we each do our parts, our children will reap the utmost benefit. So, happy Father’s Day to my fellow fathers.  Be quiet but be involved.

Pastor Paul