It is not always easy to admit to our mistakes; our natural tendency is to explain away our mistakes and shift the blame to something or someone else. But it is almost equally difficult to be gracefully right. When we are right, we usually demand that others acknowledge it and if they don’t, we get angry and resort to forceful ways to make them see that we are right, and hopefully, admit to their wrongs.

Dallas Willard shares his wisdom about how hard it is to be right, “Being right is actually a very hard burden to be able to carry gracefully and humbly. That’s why nobody likes to sit next to the kid in class who’s right all the time. One of the hardest things in the world is to be right and not hurt other people with it.” Yes, we hurt people by being wrong, but we also hurt them by being right. It is not easy to be right, graceful and humble at the same time. As fathers, the burden is even heavier. We’re the authority figures, so we want to make sure that we’re right all the time. Hence, we do not take it kindly when we are pushed to the corner to admit the wrong that we have done. And when we think we are right, we do not take it gracefully when our wives or children refuse to admit the mistakes they have made. We want them to acknowledge that we are right; our authority is on the line, and we want to preserve it.

So, here is what we must do: When we are wrong, be humble; when we are right, be graceful. When we are wrong, be humble to admit and to apologize; when we are right, be graceful to forgive and to let go. It is enough to show what is right; there is no need to show what and who is wrong. In fact, there is no need to make them feel bad and apologize to us. What our children need more than seeing us, their fathers, right is seeing their fathers graceful and humble. It gives them room to be human and teaches them to also be graceful.

Pastor Paul