One of the silent—and often lingering—pains of divorce is anger. We are angry not only because we were hurt, but also because we felt cheated. All the energy, all the trust, all the time, and all the love were for nothing. Now we have to start all over again but with so much less—less energy, less trust, less time, and less love. The stake is high and the anger is deep.
“Anger is the fluid that love bleeds when you cut it,” quipped C. S. Lewis. Tthis creative definition explains why anger becomes one of the pains of divorce. You see, we enter into marriage in love; we work on marriage though love; so how can we exit marriage without love? Love is still there but it’s been cut and it is bleeding . . . anger.
So, what do we do when someone, whom we shared our bed with, cut our love? For a time being we will have to bleed—there is nothing we can do to stop it. Let the blood or the anger flow; acknowledge all the loss we suffered; we need not rationalize or spiritualize it. A loss is a loss.
Next we must take a close look at within. See how we have become as a result of our love’s being cut. Perhaps we may have less respect toward men—or women; we may have become suspicious of other’s motive; or we may have become impatient. Whatever it is we have to see it as another loss—a loss of what is good.
Lastly we ought to give thanks to God—sometimes for getting us out of this terrible relationship, but always for not defining us by this tragedy. We give thanks for the reassurance He has given us in Psalm 37:24, “Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.”