The Church has set aside forty-six days before Easter, which starts on Ash Wednesday, as a time to remember the suffering of Christ. We do not know what happened to Jesus a year before His arrest and crucifixion. From the Gospel of John, we know what happened to Him six days before His arrest and from the Gospel of Matthew we know what happened to him two days before His arrest.
Sometimes I wonder what went through His mind a year or two prior to His crucifixion. Being fully human, from time to time He must have thought of His death on the cross. It makes me think, physically Jesus suffered for a day, but emotionally He must have suffered for years. But each day He suffered, He thought of us. He came to die for us, so we need not die for our sins, and offered His life to His Father as an atonement for our sins. Regardless of how He felt, this thought and this mission kept Him going to Golgotha.
For the next four weeks I will preach from the twenty-sixth chapter of the Gospel of Matthew. I call this series, The Two Darkest Days in the Life of Jesus. But as I previously mentioned, even in the darkest days, God’s light still shines, as we can see in the life of Jesus. There was the anointing, there was Holy Communion, there was a special time of prayer, before darkness came. There was enough light to shine in the dark and there was enough power to walk in the dark.
God does not always give us sunlight to see; sometimes He gives us light from a tiny candle so we can learn to see not by sight but by faith. I’m sure we have all been there before, where we cannot see what’s going on and what’s ahead, where we can only pray. But it’s then we discovered that in prayer we see God, we see His love, and we see His power. It’s then we learned that it’s enough we see God and experience His love. We need not see what’s ahead, so don’t.
Pastor Paul
God used a number of ways to bring Lee Strobel, a former atheist, and a Yale-trained-lawyer turned into a legal editor of the Chicago Tribune, to believe not only in the existence of God as the creator of the universe therein, but also in Jesus as his personal savior. One of them that he remembers vividly was meeting a man by the name of Ron Bronski. As a subject for his newspaper article, he interviewed Ron not only skeptical of his reformed life but also to prove that this man was simply pretending to get a lighter sentence for his crime.
Before the meeting, Strobel called his police sources and all of them in the Gang Crimes Unit were acquainted with Ron Bronski. They described him as dangerous and violent with a long criminal record. He later called Ron’s pastor in Portland, Oregon, who told him that Ron was “one of the most beautiful, loving people I know.” He told Strobel that Ron had met some Christians, abandoned his life of crime, married his live-in girlfriend, and became a follower of Jesus.
And this was the part that spoke to Lee Strobel: Knowing that there was still an outstanding warrant for his arrest, Ron saving money to buy a train ticket to Chicago to turn himself in. That’s what he did: he turned himself in. But to his surprise, not only the judge, but even the police detectives and the prosecutor were convinced that the changes in his life were authentic. So, the judge set him free on probation, “Go home and be with your family,” he told Ron. At the time Lee Strobel wrote his book, The Case for Faith, twenty years after that meeting, Ron Bronski was still ministering to kids in the inner city of Portland. Lee Strobel himself later became a Christian.
God never stops working in the lives of men and women who want to change. It does not matter what kind of persons we were before, what matters is the kind of persons He is changing us into today.
Pastor Paul
Dr. James Elder Cumming, a 19th century British speaker and author, says, “in almost every case, the beginning of new blessing is a new revelation of a character of God—more beautiful, more wonderful, more precious.” O how true! It is certainly true in the life of Lingkan Mangundap, a friend in ministry, who recently passed away. She and I served in the same ministry but different departments about thirty years ago in Jakarta. Later she switched gear, got into special education, and thrived in what she did. Along the way she’s always involved in ministry, inspiring and blessing people through her gift of singing. She died from cancer of the tongue which affected not only her speech, but also what she loved the most: singing for Jesus!
Before she passed, in a podcast interview, she boldly said that she accepted God’s appointment. She had never questioned, out of all illnesses, why she must suffer from tongue cancer, the vital organ she needed for singing. She also shared that through this journey, God assured her of His abiding presence, that He was with her. To her, that’s enough; that’s all she could ever ask for. Even though she had always known that God was with her, through this journey of faith, she got a clearer and more refreshed look at God’s presence.
Listening to her, I could not help but see someone who stood at the center of God’s divine providence, steady and at peace with life and God. In his book, Enjoying Intimacy with God, J. Oswald Sanders, writes, “If we are not in vital relationship with Him, everything else will be out of focus.” Because Lingkan was in vital relationship with Christ, everything was in focus. This new chapter of her life opened her eyes to see a new revelation of God’s character: more beautiful, more wonderful, and more precious. A new blessing was in store for her to savor. No longer she sang and pray to God with her tongue; through the Holy Spirit, she sang and prayed with her spirit.
Pastor Paul
Mary Stevenson was a woman too familiar with pain. At age 6 she lost her mother, leaving her father to raise all his eight children by himself during the time of the Great Depression, one of the most difficult periods of American history, where millions lost their jobs and plunged into poverty. It was then in her early teens that Mary wrote a poem, that became known as the Footprints in the Sand,
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.
So, I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed You, You would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods
of my life, there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, You have not been there for me?” The Lord replied, “The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.”
Mary’s pain didn’t stop after she wrote this poem; she’s married to a man who abused her, requiring her to run. To support herself she had to work as a dancer. But in the end life turned for the better; she’s married to a loving man and together they raised a family. We can identify with her, can’t we? There are moments when we can see God’s footprints walking along side, but there are moments when we cannot see His footprints. Don’t panic; He’s carrying us!
Pastor Paul
The late Ruth Graham, wife of Evangelist Billy Graham, was known to be a collector of quotations. One of them that became one of her favorites was one by George MacDonald, the Scottish pastor, writer, and mentor to C. S. Lewis, “It’s only in Him that the soul has room.” It’s only in God that we have room to rest. It’s only in Him can we find peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). In the Message, Eugene Peterson translates that peace as “a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good,” which when it comes will settle us down. Our soul has found room to rest.
As we know, the opposite of rest is not busy, but restless. Jesus was busy, but He was not restless; His soul had room to rest. We can be busy; in fact, there are times we must be busy because of demands and needs around us. But we should not be restless. Restlessness is not a sign of being busy but rather it’s a sign of being untethered, of being anxious about whatever it is we are facing. We fear and think of the worst; we feel helpless because we can’t think of a way out.
It is during this time that we must remember that God has already known all along that this would happen. Knowing this always gives me rest; I can let go of what I am facing and surrender it to the Lord. I know everything will come together, somehow, for good.
At age 13 Ruth Graham had to say good-bye to her parents and her home in China where she grew up as a child of a missionary doctor. She’s to board a ship for high school in Pyeng Yang Foreign School in North Korea. Upon arrival she suffered terrible homesickness; night after night she cried herself to sleep for weeks. She ended up sick and had to be treated in the infirmary for several days. It was there, in that room, she read the Book of Psalms, all 150 chapters, and found strength. The Bible is our room; prayer is our room; songs of praise are our room, where we can rest in the care of Our Father.
Pastor Paul
LA Times columnist, Mark Z. Barabak shares an interesting story of Harry Reid, the former Senate majority leader from Nevada who died four years ago. During his tenure as senator, Reid had a poor relationship with Jon Ralston, Nevada’s most prominent and highly esteemed political journalist. The reason is obvious: he often wrote critical of Reid! To show his displeasure to Ralston, Reid tried to get him fired from his job. Here is the interesting part, though: Before his passing, Reid asked Ralston to write his biography. This is what he said to Ralston, “You’re the only one who can do this book right. I know I’m not going to like everything you write, but I want you to do the book.” Reid died six months after, as a great man, indeed.
There are many ways to measure greatness; this is one of them, as beautifully shown by Harry Reid: comfortable in our own skin. Reid wanted people to know him as he was, an imperfect man who tried to do his best. He could have asked somebody else who’s more in favor of him to write his biography, but he knew, had he done that, he would do himself and the public a disservice. So, he went for this man, Jon Ralston, who he knew, would dissect his life critically and truthfully. He knew that he would not be around to defend himself but it’s a minor price to pay. He let people judge for themselves.
We often define secrets as things that we hide from others. Secrets are not only things that we hide from others, though. They are also things we hide from us. We do not want to see them, so we keep them inside. But here is the problem: The more secrets we keep, the smaller we become. And the more secrets we keep, the less freedom we enjoy. Jesus says, “And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” (John 8:32). We, who know the truth about Jesus, will be free from the judgment of God. And we, who know the truth about us, will be free from the judgment of others.
Pastor Paul
Being married to a musician exposes me not only to music but also musical artifacts, such as a plaque hanging on our kitchen wall that has this inscription on it, “Life is a song and love is the music.” It is true, isn’t it? As a song without music is incomplete, so is life with no love in it. It will be dry and lifeless. When God commanded us to love, He had us in mind. He needs no reminding to love because He is love; so, it’s for us. We need reminding to love because God knew that without it, we would not live a full life as He intended it.
While he was making “ER” on the Warner Bros. lot in the early days of his career, George Clooney heard that Paul Newman was also there shooting a movie. Being a young artist who had admired Paul Newman for a long time, he went to look for him. He found him outside the soundstage smoking. So, they talked and it was then that Newman gave him a piece of advice, “Don’t let them keep you inside.” At the time he did not fully understand what Newman meant, but later after they became friends, he understood what Newman meant. He was talking about not letting fame keep him from living his life. Good advice not only for Clooney but us, too.
We may not be famous, so fame wouldn’t be a problem, but we may have other things that keep us from living our lives fully, such as fear of death, worry about the future or what others think of us. All these keep us from living life fully, specifically, from loving God and others. Fear of death and worry about the future keep us from loving God fully. Worrying about what others think of us keeps us from loving others. Don’t let this keep us inside! We may feel safe but at a great cost. We can only live fully if we love God and others. In case we are wondering what love is, let me quote C. S. Lewis’ definition, “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”
Pastor Paul
As we start the new year we might be asking, “What will I do?” We might think about traveling or visiting friends and relatives or even going on a mission trip. All of them are good; we should do them; but we do them with this in mind: In a bigger scheme, life is about doing the will of God and accomplishing His work, as succinctly said by Our Lord Jesus, that His food was to do the will of Him who sent Him and to finish His work (John 4:34). Wherever we are, whatever we do, we need to ask this simple question, “Am I doing the will of God?” Or “Am I in the will of God?” And from time to time we, too, should ask retrospectively, “Am I accomplishing His work?”
What is the will of God? Since the will of God is interwoven with the command of God in that the command of God reflects the will of God, we can then say that in a nutshell, the will of God is to love Him and to love others (Matthew 22:37-39). So, to know whether we are in the will of God or doing the will of God, we just need to ask, “Am I loving God and others?” If we are filled with bitterness and anger, we, can, then say that we are not in the will of God and not doing the will of God. In the same token, if whatever it is we do is only advancing our goal and interest, not God’s goal and interest, we can conclude that we are not finishing the work of God, which is: People believe in the One He has sent, Jesus Our Lord (John 6:29).
In his book, An Introduction to Prayer, Bishop Robert Barron writes, “Christians realize that they don’t tell their own story . . . but rather that they already belong to a Story . . .” God has a story and we are in it; He already casts us with a role. But to remain in His story, we must do His will and finish His work. Knowing this gives us not only peace of mind but also purpose and meaning in life. So, don’t write our own story; stay in His story. If we do His will and finish His work, we will always be in His story—the story of love and redemption.
Pastor Paul
On October 15, 2025, Jim Morrison became the first person to have skied down the north face of Mt. Everest. The nine thousand feet slope is supposed to be the steepest, hence, the most dangerous part of Everest’s thirty-thousand feet high. Jim Morrison did it in four hours! When asked by a reporter what the biggest challenge he had to face doing what he did, he replied that it was not physical, but rather mental. He said he kept asking himself, “Can I really do it?” Despite years of training and preparation, he doubted himself.
As we begin the new year, we, too, might ask the same question, “Can I really do it?” Perhaps we have been dealing with difficult situations or personal weaknesses, and we are not certain that we will have the stamina or the ability to cope with these issues. We have serious doubts about our future because it looks bleak. In the end we cannot help but ask, “Can I really do it?” Deep down inside we know the answer that we can’t do it. We’re not even sure that we will be able to get through it. We’re just too tired to try again.
In the documentary of his descension from Everest, we can see how Jim Morrison managed to ski down this steep slope: one distance at a time! Instead of skiing straight down, he skied sideways. Instead of skiing continuously, he made numerous stops. So, he’d ski to the left, then briefly stopped before skiing to the right. That’s what he did repeatedly, for nine thousand feet and four long hours. And that’s what we must do as well. Like Morrison who had to chop off his downward slide of nine thousand feet into several feet at a time, we, too, must only focus on getting through the week or even the day. And like Morrison who, to avoid falling, had to ski sideways, thus, taking longer time, we, too, must be patient and take longer time. And like Morrison who never let go of his ski poles, we, too, if we don’t want to lose our balance, must never let go of God.
Pastor Paul
Only a handful of people knew who Lettie Burd was; even to this day only a few know who she is. But many know or at least have heard of the name Mrs. Charles E. Cowman through the devotional book she compiled, Streams in the Desert. Lettie was married to Charles E. Cowman; felt called by God to be missionaries, they went to Bible School, then left for Japan in 1901. There they worked with a Japanese evangelist they met in Chicago, Juji Nakada. The three with Ernest Killbourne founded the Oriental Missionary Society.
Lettie and Charles did not stay long in Japan; in 1917 they returned to the US due to Charles’ failing health. For six years Lettie cared for him till he died. Out of these heart-breaking experiences came this devotional book that has been the best-selling devotional book for decades. But here’s something noteworthy: She published under her married name, Mrs. Charles E. Cowman; she didn’t even use her first name! Granted that it was common practice, then, but still, it shows her devotion to him. By using her married name, it’s as if she wanted us to know not only that he and she were one, but also that this book was written by the two of them. It’s their labor of love.
To me, her life, specifically her love and devotion, was a testament to the marriage vow we all utter: To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.
Let me end with what she writes in the opening of the book, “In the pathway of faith we come to learn that the Lord’s thoughts are not our thoughts, nor His ways our ways. Both in the physical and spiritual realm, great pressure means great power. Although circumstances may bring us into the place of death, that need not spell disaster—for if we trust in the Lord and wait patiently, that simply provides the occasion for the display of His almighty power.”
Pastor Paul